Writing in Restaurants

Gustatory Sonatinas

1. A man walks into a restaurant and is seated at the last empty table. He eats dinner quickly, puts it aside, and starts writing in a notebook. Another man comes into the restaurant, but there are still no tables. The two men’s eyes meet. A moment passes, and the second man leaves the restaurant. The first man continues writing, weaving the other man into his spaghetti.

2. Two women are drinking coffee in a cafe. One of them spills her coffee and seriously scalds herself. The other bursts into tears.

3. A woman and a small child sit down for lunch. The woman orders a ham sandwich and the child orders a hamburger with fries and a soda. When the food arrives, the child doesn’t like the hamburger because the bun has sesame seeds on it. The fries taste funny because of the off-brand ketchup, and the soda is Pepsi instead of Coke. The woman listens to the child’s complaints for several minutes and then whacks it on the side of the head, knocking it to the floor. The child stops complaining, then climbs back into its chair and eats all its food. The woman glares at the other patrons.

[Author’s note: OK, DavidM; I hereby formally apologize.]
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