Hell

Folks have widely varying views of Hell, ranging from other dimensions filled with fire and torture tech to psychological modes of self-torment and fear. I have a somewhat different view of the place.

If you went there, you’d find Hell is a huge crowded airport filled with foul-smelling travelers with mountains of luggage. You’ve got six large very heavy bags with loose handles, broken wheels, etc. Your flight has been delayed, and continues to be delayed, and the announcements are always wrong so you have to pay attention. Your flight goes to heaven, or so you’ve been told, but it’s a 48-hour flight. You need to buy some snacks but there is no snack shop near your gate. What’s more, the flight keeps changing gates. The delays keep happening at unpredictable intervals. Once in a great while you actually board a plane, with much luggage trouble, but after hours (or days) waiting on the runway with the ventillation off, the flight is canceled and everyone returns to the terminal. There are numerous false alarms about sudden departures from gates at remote locations. You’ve been waiting for your flight for 1,000 years and you need a shower….